Craze Love- The thin line between love and craze

The thin line between love and crazy is as thin as the line between love and hate.

It’s not every time that your feelings will be reciprocated. Sometimes, YOU WILL LOVE AND THE OTHER WILL NOT RETURN.

It happens. And this does not necessarily mean you are the problem.

And we don’t have any right to manipulate anybody, dominate anybody or force anybody to love us.

We need to learn to accept the fact ‘No, I am not interested’. Most of us women have no issue telling a guy ‘No’ but then when we are ‘hot’ for someone and he doesn’t feel the same way, we just can’t handle the rejection.

We need to learn to accept ‘defeat’.  We need to learn to accept ‘No’- AND MOVE ON.

I seriously believe in expression. As long as emotions/intentions are not expressed (ON TIME), one party will continue to assume and feed her feelings (with lies) while the other just keeps basking in ignorance or confusion.

This is why I believe in a lady expressing how she feels on time so she does not assume and hope for long. I wish I could preach this gospel but then I fear to be crucified by the ‘prim and proper’ multitude who believes a lady should say/show less about how she feels about a man. 

I believe acceptance and expression brings liberation. What matters here is that you do these in sgood fate.

Women should be allowed to say how they feel and not to be looked down on as desperate or wayward. But then it takes a mature woman to do this.

I think the general notion/habit of not being honest of how we feel and not showing it (in time) is the main cause of these crazy instances. We don’t want to appear weak when we approach and say this is how ‘I feel about you’. Some of us are afraid that expression might start something we are not yet ready for.

I believe that, just like you feel what you feel does not mean you must follow through, admitting it does not mean you should. Likewise, if you can handle it, talking about it does not mean you should too.

You might not like my suggestion, but one thing is for sure:

Bottling emotions and un-attending to them is like caging a cannon. One day something will trigger the trigger and it will explode. So, Deal with it.  Accept it. Deal with it.

Plus there so many guys these days who don’t know how to handle a situation of when a lady really likes them and they don’t feel the same way or they are not just interested.

I don’t find the situation of a lady who is crazy in love with some guy and doing crazy stuff to get him funny- at all.

She has misunderstood some things, she has misjudged him or she probably just idolizes him.

I believe there is a solution to everything. ‘Ignoring’ (her) could work sometimes, and may not work sometimes.

Depending on how deep this craze love has eaten into her being, resisting her might just fuel the passion.

One reason for this ‘emotional mix up’ is the major difference between a man and a woman. We are both different in our making. Men don’t see things the way women see them and women don’t see things the way women see them.

Another is that some people are just emotionally unhealthy. They seem to look ok, appear ok, talk ok, have great jobs, make money, have friends…they are even friendly. But once a chord is struck in their heart, their emotional craze surfaces. It is random. It does not happen often. It is usually triggered by something the other person unintentionally did and it is often a friendly gesture.

Craze love usually springs out of hurt, rejection, un-forgiveness, a strong need for attention or just plain stupidity.

Guy, if you have a babe (seriously and crazily) on your tail, I blame you. And I don’t blame you. You need to involve people close to her and talk to her in front of them especially if you are already engaged or married. You need to make her see reality. Prove the impossibility of your being together.

Avoiding her or saying she is crazy may not solve the problem. And sometimes, you getting married may not. Cos depending on how deep the craze love has eaten into her soul- she will not give up.

My advice to other guys:

Study ladies well before you get close- you will see signs and traces at the beginning.  Many ladies have men issues-caused by their daddies, Ex-es etc

Don’t start what you will not finish with a lady

Don’t tease or put assumptions in her head

Don’t manipulate her emotionally- That’s evil. This point is usually the reason why ladies become crazy lovers in the end. Because they had an Ex who used to dangle the carrot of love before them. So when they meet another guy they like, they think he is playing the last guy’s game called ‘dangling the carrot’ of love. Where-as new dude ain’t dangling nothing.

Babe, if you are currently in this state, you need to stop now! Stop In Jesus Name!

Go get help. Talk to someone close to you.

You need to start making yourself accountable.

Some of us are not emotionally mature. We have no inkling on how to handle emotional matters- at all.

I will be writing in this line in my next few posts. About dealing with unreturned love, what to do when you are crazy about someone and he does not feel the same, how to deal with the rejection, our self esteem, letting go, good girls and virgin things, how to identify a man you can marry, the ordinary guy who does extra ordinary things, husband things generally, spiritual things, our wellbeing, self esteem things, happy things...etc.

I’ll write (and we’ll talk) about what nobody wants to talk about…

Somebody has got to. I (We) will.

Stay with me, please.