Becoming Wife ‘Number 2’ Without Knowing It

Nike, a high flying 24year old upwardly mobile chic was blown away when Jide a smooth talker working with one of these newly merged banks proposed. Without thinking about the legal implications of marriage, Nike brought out all her old editions of ‘wedding planner’ and scouted for the best wedding gowns and bridal train costumes you could imagine. Money wasn’t the problem as her savings was enough to float any wedding celebration you could think of.

The couple went through the necessary marriage counseling class in their church (a new generation Pentecostal church) and subsequently got married in the same church after a well attended engagement/traditional marriage ceremony the day before.  Registration of the marriage at the marriage registry wasn’t necessary, suggested Jide as long as they were getting married in church.

Four years has passed and Nike hasn’t conceived. Jide started keeping late nights until he came back home one night and broke the news of an illicit affair he is involved in. The lady in question was already three months pregnant. She insisted on keeping the baby on one condition “that she must be legally married to Jide”. Nike threatened fire and brimstone if Jide decides to go ahead with the marriage. She threatened to get a lawyer and prosecute him for the offence of bigamy (entering another marriage when a legal one subsists). After much ado about nothing, Nike was advised by her lawyer that she has no legal right due to the fact that,   her husband only entered a customary marriage contract with her and thus can marry more than one wife. This was because the church where they got married was not a legally licensed place of marriage under the ‘Marriage Act’ and  thus any marriage conducted there that wasn’t registered at a marriage registry was not recognized by law.

Jide went ahead to marry his secret lover in a secretly organized traditional wedding.  Nike had no choice but to watch her sweetheart being shared by another woman.  Although she (Nike) got pregnant the following year (after Jide’s supposedly second wife) has put to bed, life has never been the same as she now plays second fiddle to the latest and sweet loving ‘Iyawo’.

The above story is a true picture of what goes on in this part of the world today. Young couples ignorantly getting married without having a knowledge of the type of marriage they are contracting and thus entering the type that can cause problems in the future. I used to think that elites can never make the mistake until I discovered from my findings that some of our so called elites don’t even know the right thing to do.

The Law recognizes customary marriage under ‘Customary Marriage’ (Islamic marriage inclusive) where a man can marry more than one wife if he chooses to. The woman if not comfortable with it can approach a customary court and ask for a dissolution to enable her get married to someone else. Unlike marriages under the Act where the man cannot contract any other marriage whether customary or ‘white’ for as long as he is still lawfully married to another person. Any attempt to do so will render the second marriage null and void and the man liable to a criminal offence of bigamy which can attract a prison sentence.

The question therefore is ‘what is marriage under the Act?’.  Simply put, marriages under the ‘Act’ are those marriages conducted or registered at the local marriage registry or the ones conducted at churches that have license to conduct weddings.  

WARNING!!! to all young couples out there ‘NOT ALL CHURCHES HAVE THE LICENSE TO CONDUCT WEDDINGS’.  Although some of such churches now insist on the couple registering the marriage at the marriage registry before coming over to church to do the ‘white wedding’.  If you got married under such circumstance, be rest assured that the marriage certificate you have is the one given to you at the registry.  Don’t be fooled by the beautifully designed marriage certificate your pastor handed over to you.  It is useless if your church is not a licensed place for marriage and if you haven’t done anything at the marriage registry.

Finally, my free counsel to every young lady out there is thus: insist on your man that your marriage should be registered at the marriage registry. That is the only way you can guarantee or have a right to fight back if something happens in the future.  Even if you have been married for many years, it is not too late to register your marriage.  It doesn’t cost so much, with as little as N5000 you would have been married at a marriage registry.

If you don’t want to be ‘wife Number 2’ without knowing it, then look before you leap. A stitch in time saves nine. A word they say is enough for the wise.

Okungbowa Ese lives in Lagos. LAW is his hustle. Do text him on 08079134999 or mail okungbowaese@yahoo.com.