Thursday, July 26, 2012

The Stranger you love, the friend that cares



Ladies, what is that thing of chasing after someone who is not chasing us but is actually running away from us?

Why are we sometimes so passionate and dogged determined about getting involved with someone one who is not interested in us while we ignore the one who is familiar?

And sometimes, when we seek love, care and attention, we actually do get it but we don’t accept it from that person who is nearby but still expect it from the other who distances himself from us. 

Let’s not be in the habit of overlooking relationship possibilities around us and thereby in the end missing the possible opportunity of being with a good man.

Here are some factors that affect our decisions regarding seeing and accepting our heart long desires.

Just friends…

What’s wrong with a friendship evolving into a relationship especially if you realize it can or should? Who else is it more convenient to hook up with?
We keep rejecting a male friend who is interested in us saying ‘he’s just a friend’.  Well, it is not all friendships that should lead to a relationship but have you checked if this one (or any of these ones) should? Can it?

Remember:

A man will not drop from heaven. The last time an answer to prayer dropped from heaven was when manna dropped from heaven for the Israelites to feed on.

When Haggai (Genesis 21:14-19) was in need and she cried out to God, He answered her prayers. Her eyes were opened and she saw the solution to her need just nearby.

When Abraham (Genesis22:9-13) was in need of a lamb for sacrifice, when his eyes were opened, he looked and he saw just nearby ‘a ram caught by its horns in a bush’.

Even Jesus, when he performed the miracle with the wine at the wedding (John 2:1-8), he used the six stone water pots that were standing nearby.   

God had placed a provision to their needs within their reach. All they needed was their eyes to be opened.

Most of the times our heart long desires are not usually something extraordinary that travels from afar to meet us.  The answer to our prayers is not always farfetched. If your heart points in one direction, don’t be reluctant only because it is too familiar.  And don’t get me wrong I am not saying another lady should now desperately begin to harass her male friends. All I’m saying what if in your case what you sought has always been just there, close to you, do not hesitate...


Evaluating his weaknesses      

Sometimes, we have a friend who is interested in us, especially when he is a friend we know very much. We understand him; we know his strength and weaknesses. But the issue is we just keep analyzing him and continue to evaluate his petty weakness like we don’t have ours.  In this case, you should stop focusing on his weaknesses. You know his strength and weaknesses only because he is your close friend.  He is close because he let you in.  And friends don’t castigate their friends behind their backs whether in public or in their minds. Stop recounting his weakness in your mind especially if it’s something that is not trivial.


Chasing after who is not looking at us and running away from who is chasing us?   Isn’t it meaningless? A time comes when we mature and quit the chase. Babe, when it’s that time QUIT THE CHASE.


We keep trying to please that person who does not appreciate us and loathe the one who would ‘catch a grenade for us’ (well, not technically).
You deserve love, care and attention in return. We should be courageous to accept it when a man is not responding to the love and attention we give him. If he doesn’t love you, the earlier you accept it, the better.  I know it’s a hard pill to swallow.  For me too, it was hard but I had to swallow it and I used the water of reality to push it down. He had told me I wouldn’t believe it…he acted it (like he didn’t love me) and I still wouldn’t let go. Well it took more for me to hands off and I’m glad I did.


Seeing a good man as weak

There is nothing weak about being good. There’s nothing weak about a guy being nice to you and treating you like a queen that you are (especially when its confirmed he is not playing you). We should unthink all wrong notions that we’ve picked up while growing up and begin to learn new values.  How long will you manage this gangster love where ‘he’ doesn’t return your love, care and attention?

Appreciate a good man. Don’t look good down on him. Good is just what it is- GOOD!  And you deserve good.  


Placing the outside above the inside

You say ‘he has no swag like that…’ whilst he has the most important qualities in a man.   Please realize inner qualities come first and they matter the most.
Not all of us will be hooked up with one of the guys that escaped from the cover of GQ. *Lol* I know there has to be an attraction (I strongly believe in that) but all I’m saying we should stop seeking that unreasonable and unusual thing in a guy.


Seeking unusual attraction

You are looking for unusual passion and unusual love; Looking for that extra electricity and sparks.  *Haba!* I thought we were over with the mills and boons nonsense.  A few sparks are enough but must there be an electrical surge because you are in love? Please don’t let the search for extraordinary feelings and emotions hinder you from grabbing a lurking opportunity.   

I have posted below an extract from a book titled ‘KNIGHTS IN SHINING ARMOR’ by P.B WILSON. I have been richly blessed by this book and I hope this extract will help.  

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