Ladies,
what is that thing of chasing after someone who is not chasing us but is
actually running away from us?
Why
are we sometimes so passionate and dogged determined about getting involved
with someone one who is not interested in us while we ignore the one who is
familiar?
And
sometimes, when we seek love, care and attention, we actually do get it but we
don’t accept it from that person who is nearby but still expect it from the
other who distances himself from us.
Let’s
not be in the habit of overlooking relationship possibilities around us and thereby
in the end missing the possible opportunity of being with a good man.
Here
are some factors that affect our decisions regarding seeing and accepting our
heart long desires.
Just friends…
What’s
wrong with a friendship evolving into a relationship especially if you realize
it can or should? Who else is it more convenient to hook up with?
We
keep rejecting a male friend who is interested in us saying ‘he’s just a friend’. Well, it is not all friendships that should
lead to a relationship but have you checked if this one (or any of these ones)
should? Can it?
Remember:
A
man will not drop from heaven. The last time an answer to prayer dropped from
heaven was when manna dropped from heaven for the Israelites to feed on.
When
Haggai (Genesis 21:14-19) was in need and she cried out to God, He answered her
prayers. Her eyes were opened and she saw the solution to her need just nearby.
When
Abraham (Genesis22:9-13) was in need of a lamb for sacrifice, when his eyes
were opened, he looked and he saw just nearby ‘a ram caught by its horns in a
bush’.
Even
Jesus, when he performed the miracle with the wine at the wedding (John 2:1-8),
he used the six stone water pots that were standing nearby.
God
had placed a provision to their needs within their reach. All they needed was
their eyes to be opened.
Most
of the times our heart long desires are not usually something extraordinary that
travels from afar to meet us. The answer
to our prayers is not always farfetched. If your heart points in one direction,
don’t be reluctant only because it is too familiar. And don’t get me wrong I am not saying another
lady should now desperately begin to harass her male friends. All I’m saying
what if in your case what you sought has always been just there, close to you,
do not hesitate...
Evaluating his weaknesses
Sometimes,
we have a friend who is interested in us, especially when he is a friend we know
very much. We understand him; we know his strength and weaknesses. But the
issue is we just keep analyzing him and continue to evaluate his petty weakness
like we don’t have ours. In this case, you
should stop focusing on his weaknesses. You know his strength and weaknesses only
because he is your close friend. He is
close because he let you in. And friends
don’t castigate their friends behind their backs whether in public or in their
minds. Stop recounting his weakness in your mind especially if it’s something
that is not trivial.
Chasing after who is not
looking at us and running away from who is chasing us? Isn’t
it meaningless? A time comes when we mature and quit the chase. Babe, when it’s
that time QUIT THE CHASE.
We keep trying to please that
person who does not appreciate us and loathe the one who would ‘catch a grenade
for us’ (well, not technically).
You
deserve love, care and attention in return. We should be courageous to accept
it when a man is not responding to the love and attention we give him. If he
doesn’t love you, the earlier you accept it, the better. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow. For me too, it was hard but I had to swallow
it and I used the water of reality to push it down. He had told me I wouldn’t
believe it…he acted it (like he didn’t love me) and I still wouldn’t let go.
Well it took more for me to hands off and I’m glad I did.
Seeing a good man as weak
There
is nothing weak about being good. There’s nothing weak about a guy being nice
to you and treating you like a queen that you are (especially when its
confirmed he is not playing you). We should unthink all wrong notions that
we’ve picked up while growing up and begin to learn new values. How long will you manage this gangster love
where ‘he’ doesn’t return your love, care and attention?
Appreciate
a good man. Don’t look good down on him. Good is just what it is- GOOD! And you deserve good.
Placing the outside above the inside
You
say ‘he has no swag like that…’ whilst he has the most important qualities in a
man. Please realize inner qualities
come first and they matter the most.
Not
all of us will be hooked up with one of the guys that escaped from the cover of
GQ. *Lol* I know there has to be an attraction (I strongly believe in that) but
all I’m saying we should stop seeking that unreasonable and unusual thing in a
guy.
Seeking unusual attraction
You
are looking for unusual passion and unusual love; Looking for that extra electricity
and sparks. *Haba!* I thought we were
over with the mills and boons nonsense.
A few sparks are enough but must there be an electrical surge because
you are in love? Please don’t let the search for extraordinary feelings and
emotions hinder you from grabbing a lurking opportunity.
I
have posted below an extract from a book titled ‘KNIGHTS IN SHINING ARMOR’ by
P.B WILSON. I have been richly blessed by this book and I hope this extract
will help.
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