Women and Sex

NB:  This piece may be directed towards ‘religious’ women and women who just engage in sexual activities but really do not know what they are doing.

The great disappointment

I think there has been a ‘sex mis-education’ amongst women. I feel sorry that a lot of women will get married and discover that what they had fantasized about or read in exotic literature or watched in videos is not exactly true or as easy to come by.

Those who think they know will discover they know nothing or that what they know is just a shadow of what sex is really about and those who have refused to be aware will suffer the consequences of their ignorance.

Sex is not dirty just as money is not. It’s is just the wrong use that is.

God created sex.

Why God created sex.

 And he created it to be between man and wife and not just man and woman. Sex is about a celebration between a man and his wife.  The bible says “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

So babes, if you’ve still got your blood, save it.  Don’t be giving your blood to just anyone.

If you are a Christian woman, realize that your body is a ‘temple’; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost. God the spirit lives in you.  So handle with care.

*Ok, I culled majority of the part above from a Bishop Jakes sermon*

Acceptance

Many mature women (even married) are still not accepting themselves- their body to be precise. They are not comfortable talking about sex and finding help on how to find sexual fulfillment in their marriages. This is majorly as a result of wrong notions and ideas that they’ve grown up with.

Some women still don’t know what their ‘vagina’ look like (what is what and where what is). Why do I believe you are thinking “Why should I know? As long as I can have sex and I can give birth with it”.  See, that’s what I am talking about.  Ignorance is expensive. Remember that it is your body, God gave it to you. There is nothing wrong with any part of it and there is nothing wrong with knowing how it works so you can function well and be fulfilled in all aspects of life that requires the use of your body.

Sexually aware and confident

“We are sexual beings. It is the denial of it that gets us in trouble”

Single women should be sexually aware and confident. They should not be afraid of sex relative matters. They should understand it and tackle it with maturity. Denial is not the correct weapon for abstinence. They should understand their bodies. There is nothing dirty or to be ashamed of regarding a woman’s lower body (private part to be precise). I also like to point out that being sexually active may not necessarily mean being sexually aware.  Some woman could just be sleeping around not knowing what she is doing or why she does what she does. She might not necessarily be doing it just to seek pleasure. Sometimes she is looking for more, like love, attention, a father…etc

Sex Education

I mean correct sex education.

I believe women should know about sex as much as they know about cooking. She should have an idea about the fundamentals of sex like ‘what it is really, why, and how’.    Well, if your body can’t contain it (knowledge about sex) while being single, then wait till you are married but you had better be a fast learner.   

Some super spiritual persons might want to know- there is no marriage or sex in heaven so how that is important since I am heavenly bound.  That’s the point. Your body is only required for use here on earth and you need to know how to deal with and take care of it. Sex matters are serious matters. Sex is not just a physical activity. It is spiritual.  Apostle Paul says here in 1Corinthians6:16-18: 

And don’t you know that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” But the person who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Run away from sexual sin! No other sin clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.

What I’m trying to pull out from the scripture above is that either ways (whether one engages in it being single or married) sex is more than that physical activity thought.

We know it is not the most important thing between a man and his wife but it is a key and important element in marriage.  Between a man and his wife it symbolizes some form of covenant.

For the religious woman in denial:

Accept yourself.   Accept and appreciate your body. Get a mirror, place it underneath (make sure you are wearing no underwear) and stand above it. Study what you see. There is nothing dirty about it.  We can’t afford to carry those yeye ideas into our marriages.  Let’s deal with this slutty idea about the female, sex and her assets.

Give yourself a hug jare!

Like I said it is the wrong approach to sex that’s the issue.

For the care free and sexually active single woman:

What are you looking for?

Sex is not the only way to get what you want (from men): Get (Economic) power.

Your sexuality is not your only option to feel powerful, relevant or feminine.

Well, you’ll find more options on this blog.

Also, I’d like you know that having sex does not mean acceptance and it most times will not mean that you have just received love, care and attention.

It would just mean you’ve just been screwed. Period. *Pardon my language*

And finally,

For the newly married young woman:

To reach a climax is your God given right in your sexual life. Please don’t allow the devil or anything deprive you of it.  If it really matters to you then sought sexual fulfillment in your marriage. Don’t be ashamed to seek help.

I have recommended two books here that I believe will be of help. Please look below in the next post.

Thank you.

Phew!