Some
of us women don’t know how to relate with men.
They don’t even know what to do with men. They don’t know how to
communicate or live with them. So they just relate with them based on their
past experiences.
They
bank on the relationships they’ve had or how they’ve seen others relate with
men and sometimes these people they emulate had sour relationships with the men
in their lives.
These experiences could be what they’ve had
with some man in their childhood (e. g a father), the (man) experience of someone
close to them (e. g their mother) or what they’ve heard or learnt from society
while growing up. And this reflects unconsciously in their behavior.
Here
are some unconscious ‘He’ views some of us women have about men and possible
corrections:
You are not his mother
He
probably doesn’t like to see you as that especially if he still has one. Also
it is a minus for you because things could become unromantic since you have taken
a motherly role. Remember guys don’t find their mothers attractive (in that way),
but they do love, respect and honor them. Why don’t you just take the role of
his woman (and ‘his wife’ when you are married) and enjoy the ride, that’s a
handful already.
He
is not your boy. He can take care of
himself- he is a man. Don’t spoil him. Yes,
we are helpmates (as females) but ‘help’ is relative. Also remember that you are not a slave. The
role is help, wife, partner, friend, mother to both your children, confidant…
He is not your girlfriend
Save
all the irrelevances and girlish shenanigans for your girlfriends. There’s a
limit to which a man can take. If your idiosyncrasies are becoming too much he
might begin to want to hang less around you. He might think he’ll lose himself
or identity if he’s becoming too involved in your girly stuff and he begins to withdraw.
Some men can’t just take it one bit. Understand the place of your man in your
life and how to relate with him. Please don’t get me wrong. Be yourself but
don’t expect him to be a ‘woman’ for you.
He is not your toy
No
man in his conscious self wants to be.
He
is not your manipulative tool. He does not like to be used. If he is being
used, babes, he won’t be pleased when he discovers.
He is not a deity
Do
not worship him. Some ladies are so scared of losing their man that they
worship him. They are so afraid of him. They can’t be themselves around this
man. They just want to keep him and not lose him. This doesn’t sound like a
relationship. It sounds like a shrine where you are the devotee and he is the
god. That’s dangerous.
He is not perfect
No
matter how good you feel he is to you, he is not perfect by himself. If you are
so demanding and unappreciative, he might feel he is not up to the task and
leave. He would believe he can’t please
you so he heads out to look for someone who would appreciate and love him for
he is and what he can give.
He is your man
Accept
it.
He
wants to be respected.
To
be understood, accepted, loved and supported.
Shikena.
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