Emotional Captivity

Nobody puts us in it. We put ourselves. We are our own slave masters.

We have handcuffed ourselves with the memory and fantasy of someone who had left us long ago.  We have used our own mouth to say that we cannot be happy with someone else, and concluded in our mind that we might not find another like him. Using our words and thoughts to bind our souls to someone who has probably moved on or who will definitely not come back is like shooting herself in the leg.

Emotional captivity puts one in a state of being, not just emotionally but physically.

We will not try something new, and even we did, our heart is stagnant.

Most times, a woman might not know she is in this emotional state. After her ‘awesome’ experience with this ‘Mr Knight’, she will continually to see wrong in every guy that approaches her or she might not ‘see’ them at all. She might be friends, but there is no thoroughfare to her heart -even for those with good intentions. She has unconsciously built a wall, with a sign that says ‘no entrance’.

She keeps comparing every ‘he’ with that guy, and even if he was ‘awesome’, the reality is that you are no more together. Your heart which is still focused on the past will not usher you into the new.  It will not take you into new possibilities and better. 

You will have what you believe. 

If you believe and keep saying that ‘guy x’ is the best and you don’t stop there but you keep thinking and saying ‘he is the best and you don’t think you might find another like him’ then you sure won’t.  We ladies should be careful what we say, especially what we ‘murmur’ to ourselves.  As women, we react more to what we hear- how much more what we tell ourselves. We are influenced by what we say and think to ourselves continuously also because we are emotional beings.  We are also naturally loyal and committed (when we want to) and we will be to someone we really love and hope to be with for a long time. Nevertheless, we should learn to let go- especially in our hearts. We should learn to move on and to move on right.

We should learn to try to get up, dust ourselves and move on from a failed relationship or love affair.

I believe there is no one person for only one person. There are many others that you can fall in love with. There are many others who are more awesome than this old guy in question. Some of us simply are afraid of starting over or trying something/someone new.  If one old ‘thing’ doesn’t die, especially since you didn’t kill it, a new and better ‘thing’ will not be birth.  Have you heard of how the glory of the latter will be better than the former(Haggai 2:9)?  Therefore, how you end up is largely dependent on your thinking. Do not be afraid to try new.

Check your heart. Are you still stuck with some old love even when you claim to be open to a new relationship?

If your heart does not move on, you will not move on.

The bible says ‘where your heart is, that is where your treasure is’ (Matthew 6:21). Meaning, you still treasure ‘that guy’ and ‘that relationship’ over your present and that’s why your heart is there. We should be careful of not making a ‘god’ out of a past relationship. God restores and he will restore, if you let him. 

Have faith, and expect better.  Yes, it is possible that that guy was awesomely awesome, but when you do remember him and the good times you both had together, thank God for him/it and also thank God for better.

We should never allow a past love or relationship to keep us on a spot. Such situations will only happen if we permit it. Be the captain of your own heart.   

Woman up! You are strong. You can do this!