BY HIS FRUITS...

"A healthy tree produces good fruit, and an unhealthy tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. Matthew 7:17&18"

"Yes, the way to identify a tree or a person is by the kind of fruit that is produced- Matthew 7:20"

‘Action’, they say, ‘speaks louder than words’.

Someone may claim to be one thing but his true nature will definitely be revealed.  Even when he pretends, he can’t hide for long, it will eventually be revealed.

Well, we’ve heard of some very good actors, so the best thing is to pray to God to show you the heart of this man you are interested in or involved with.  And he will.

Actions, mannerisms, behaviors and even words are good indicators of a person’s true nature.

Do not ignore the writing on the wall

When you see a character or behavioral pattern that you believe you cannot cope with, you have to deal with it soon.  It is not wise to pretend it is not there or that it will just go away by itself. We are talking about a human being here, he has a free will. He can choose to be a particular way. Only his maker has an authority over him.

Ye are not the Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is the only person I know that changes people. He doesn’t even force them to change. He shows them and lets them know why they should change. He enhances a transformation. And babes, yea are not the holy spirit. The ‘I am going to change him’ process is such a rigorous one. I wonder where some women get their and inspiration energy from to engage in such a difficult task. 

Do study Matthew 7:17-20 and use it to evaluate your relationship or friendship. If you want better, then you need to work towards it.  Pretense and denial will not solve anything.  It will not deal with the problem. You are simply ignoring it and will still find it there.

A good man will do good deeds. He can’t be comfortable exhibiting bad behavior.  And when it is the other way round, his actions will tell what kind of man he is.

 

 

Esther

Esther's MENISTRATION

NB: This ‘teaching service’ is for females who still do not have the slightest idea about the ‘making’ of a man.  It is to help us have an insight… I hope we grasp and find the ease to accept. 

A man is a MAN.  He is not a woman.  I know you know that.

Babes, a man is a man, he is not a woman. *Yeah I know I said that the first time*

I mean he doesn’t think, feel and act the way you do.  He doesn’t reason like you and he will not react to things the way you do.

Naturally, there is a difference between man and woman- I mean psychologically, emotionally, and other relative aspects.

Your man is not you- YOU are a WOMAN. I hope you get it.

We need to let it remain at the back of our heads that men are different from us women.  We need to learn to understand and accept them for who they are so we can know how best to relate with them.  Also, so we are able to differentiate from what’s natural and what’s just a bad habit (lol). 

But …

This is not an avenue to create excuses to condone a partner’s mistakes or bad behavior.  Nah! It is an eye opener and puzzle solver. *Guyz, I no call you puzzle o - cos I know you sneaked in here* 

At least you’ll know how to deal with those little things that cause small small quarrels between you and your man. They probably are just a product of your differences.

I don’t claim that I know ‘man’ so well but I have read a few books and googled a lot and I am still learning.   I really can’t finish analyzing ‘the man’ here in this one piece because the man/woman topic is a very wide one but I hope this simple piece will help (especially if you are not so familiar with ‘MENology’ already)

Nevertheless, for further study (If you are interested), you can google ‘Men’ or buy books that talk about them.  I have recommended books at the end of this piece. Trust me, they’ll help *winkz*.

 

Enjoy!

 

Memories (both Good and Bad):

Men have shorter memories. This is responsible for their forgetfulness of important days like the birthdays of wives, mothers, sisters, even children.  The good side to this is that it allows them to forgive and forget (well after a few punches).  This is unlike you who remember everything, but may find it difficult to let an issue die.  A man may forget what he did wrong….

Emotions:

Men have a logical approach to things, while women are emotional beings. When there’s an issue, men are more prone to want do something about it. They do not have the ‘cry and cry... and let’s just to talk about it’ nature that the woman does.  Men don’t find it easy to show emotions (not just like that) hence they don’t know what to do when someone starts crying.  It makes them so uneasy that they might just walk out the scene. 

Noticing:

Men do not have the ability to notice things easily. You do. You notice when something is dirty/nearly empty/out of place and then you want to do something about it immediately. He is not exactly like that. 

Admitting Mistakes:

Men do not find it easy and pleasing to admit that they are wrong. He could eventually do it, but trust me it wasn’t an easy task. 

Directions:

Men find it difficult to stop and ask for directions. They seem to consider this to be a sign of weakness.   They prefer to drive in a circle for hours, pretending/making you believe ‘all is well’.  You need wisdom to be able to help here, just use scope and lovingly handle this matter.

Toys:

"Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest. Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they grow older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical. Examples of men's toys: little miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that serve cocktails on command, video games, anything that blinks, beeps, and requires at least six "D" batteries to operate."

*Na so* Lol.

Multitasking and Focus

Men are not multitasking in nature.  A woman is a natural multitasker, that is, she can do many things at the same time.  You can cook and talk on the phone with your friend, and also check on the baby... Men are not able to do that!

Men cannot watch sports and talk to their wives at the same time!

So... stop harping on your man for not being able to be super like you, it doesn’t come naturally to him.

The good side is men prefer to do one thing at a time. They are more able to focus and achieve an objective. They find it difficult to do many things at a go.

Mental/Emotional differences

"Men gain their identity through vocations while women tend to find their identity in close relationships.

Men tend to be more preoccupied with practicalities that can be understood through logical deduction. Men tend to be more challenge-and-conquer oriented—competing for dominance —hence, their strong interest in sports such as football and boxing. Women on the other hand tend to be more personal than men. Women have a deeper interest in people and feelings —building relationships —"

Men are more goal oriented.  Like we said they are more focused beings.  A man does not like interference when he’s trying to achieve his goal. He is more competitive in nature and tends to see a race or game that needs to be run and won in almost everything. 

Communication: Active Vs Verbal

"Men will communicate quickly and efficiently, with as little hassle as possible. If it’s easier to relay a message via third party, email, text message, or courier pigeon, then that’s how a man will communicate."

"Men simply don’t feel the need to spend so much time communicating what doesn’t need to be expressed right away."

Women prefer to talk and never get tired of talking. They feel the need to express themselves verbally and they find it easy.

Men don’t find it easy to verbally express themselves, especially regarding how they feel. They rather show it.

"Men speak in sentences. Women speak in paragraphs."

Offspring

"The woman tends to know more all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and games and romances and best friends and favourite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams - more than the man."

It’s not that he doesn’t care; he is just more concerned about practical issues like making sure there’s enough for the kids go to the best schools, the family moves to a better house etc. His mind is probably occupied with other big stuffs like those.

 

Punctuality and Time Sense

Men tend to be on time to planned events. They love to get to outings and events on time. Men don’t like being late, because it makes them look like they’re not in control.  And that’s why a man seem to be irritated when his woman delays when they are about to go out.

Hence when a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go out. Unlike the woman who says she is ready, but after she chooses an outfit, picks earring to go with it, and finishes putting on her makeup. 

Relationships:

A man sees a relationship in a complete different way from which a woman sees it.  A man just can’t commit like that, except he is actually ready.  First of all, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it (initially) more as something that’s happening.  

When a relationship ends, a woman may cry, pour out her heart to her girlfriends, and do the all ‘men are evil’ thing for a while. Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, he could still harbour some mixed feelings of resentment and love for the lady. He could swallow his pride to call and say things to make her feel guilty so she’ll come back to him. Or he could call to let her know how much of a devil he thinks she is.

Sexual Difference:

"A man is stimulated by sight.  He is usually less discriminating about those to whom he is physically attracted.

A man needs little or no preparations for sex...

When a woman’s emotions have been trampled by her husband, she is often repulsed by his advances.  However, a man may have NO idea what he is putting his wife through when he forces sex upon her.

The man, on the other hand, does not generally have her instinctive awareness of what the relationship should be. He doesn’t know how to encourage and love his wife or treat her in a way that meets her deepest needs."

I think communication will do a lot here- I mean in this aspect. The woman should try to relate to her HUSBAND how she feels and what she wants. He should understand.

One Liners

"A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does."

"To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all."

Joke about handwriting:

"To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship, they just chicken-scratch.   Women use scented, coloured stationary and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts.  Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's". It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note."

Resource:

www.manolith.com

www.marriagemissions.com

www.baetzler.de

news.bbc.co.uk

www.binscorner.com

JESUS NEEDS YOU....

Then the king will say to those on the right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitability? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you? And the King will tell them, ‘I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!  Matthew 25:34-40

The Call

This is a reminder to us all that we should not forget our responsibility towards our neighbour.  We should never be too busy for ‘good works’.  The bible clearly states that we should ‘do good (deeds)- on purpose’. Hence, we need to make out time and set out resources to consistently go out of our way to make the life of a fellow human better.

Yes, the poor will always be among us; and we will continue to care for them, because it’s our responsibility.

So what do you intend to do this Easter?

Here are a few suggestions. 

SO SAID Charity Home

SO SAID is located at Ago Palace way, Okota and it is a shelter and care centre for vulnerable persons, mentally ill and their children on the streets.   

My Encounter: A visit to So Said.

The Admin officer welcomes us, while a volunteer nurse takes over to tell us the stories of the occupants simultaneously showing us pictures that made me cringe and ask in myself, ‘what was it I said my problem is again?’.  The restored destitute sat behind the speaker (the nurse) all dressed in their Ankara, looking their best for their guests.  It was obvious, they’ve all had one big issue in the course of their lives and it is also obvious that they are seriously recovering. They are way better than what they used to be; Ever better.  This is because what these pictures reveal to me is gruesome.  The Children then came forward to sing to us and pray for us.

The different horrendous stories got me shocked and I could not help but give an outburst of how I felt.

Is it the Medical practitioner of 25years who had come home to Nigeria briefly, and then ran mad, and was left on the streets of Lasgidi, until ‘So said’ came to her rescue?  Her phon’e was still there even as she told her gruesome story.  

Or is it the former popular Apapa mad man who had been insane and homeless for 15years?

Or is the former destitute guy that was living in dirt and scum plus he had a hand that was fast rotten at the wrist and was about to come off his arm?  ‘So said’ came and took him in and yes they took him to an hospital and treated his hand. I saw the mark on his healed hands. 

‘So Said’ has 2 centers, the men’s shelter is at Ajegunle while the women’s shelter is at Ago Palace way.  They are currently building a children’s church.  The children currently stay at the women’s shelter.

The visionary heeded the call of the Lord many years ago to care for the mentally ill and their children and she has since then been doing this. She lives in the same building with these restored souls.

Aside from taking these people in and caring for them, they also help reconnect them to their families. And this is more like a graduation period for the persons from the ‘So said’ home.

So Said needs:

Funds for to build their children’s shelter

Food stuff

Clothes and other wears (for children, women and men)

Toiletries

To visit and support, Please contact:

SO SAID CHARITY HOME

45, Owolabi Street, by Lord B/Stop

Off Ago Palace Way, Okota, Lagos

Tel: DL- 08062338837, 08050679161, 07027107239

Email: so_saidnigeria@yahoo.com

Or visit their website on: www.sosaidfoundation.org

Emmanuel Prisons Evangelism Outreach (EPEO)

As Mr Emmanuel Onuorah related his ordeal of how he was wrongly imprisoned and was abandoned in a Nigerian prison, I prayed in my heart that nobody that I’ve ever known or even an enemy (though I refer no one as none) should ever find him or herself in such state.  

I can’t seem to forget a narration he gave of a typical happening in a Nigerian prison, where the president makes a call, and the numerous prisoners lap themselves in a manner which he described and that I cannot even articulate in my own words. But I got the picture... Imagine eons of able bodied men in a cramped cell and trying to create space for one man to stretch his legs *shudders*.   There is one small bucket that serves as a urinary and sewage point...

To cut the story short, Mr Emmanuel was later released after a divine intervention. He started ‘Emmanuel Prisons Evangelism Outreach’, a ministry that reaches out to  prison inmates and helps rehabilitates ex-convicts with the aim of making them better persons in and out of prison.

He said there were lots of wrongly accused persons in prison. He revealed that there are inmates who have been put there for some crime that would have required bail or a few months jail sentence if there had been a trial or due court process.  He says the men behind their ordeal come once in a while to reimburse the prison authorities so to keep these accused persons there-in prisons.

According to Mr Emmanuel: 

This vision came as a result of personal unlawful incarceration I experienced in one of our Nigerian prisons and with the attendant of inhuman conditions and stigmatization that prisoners and ex-convicts have to go through. Many of them are innocent and some are victims of circumstances. I may interest you to know that some of the missing persons announced over the media are in our prisons without any formal charge or record of their incarceration. It is with great burden and sincerity of purpose that I write to inform you of the state and condition of our fellow brothers and sisters in prisons all over Nigeria especially the ‘Awaiting Trial Inmates’. Many of them are very hungry, sick, naked and dying all because of the insensitivity and insincerity of those in authority

The mission of EPEO is:

To take care of the felt need of the inmates

To secure the release of the innocent ones

To rehabilitate ex-convicts

To prepare them for the Lord Jesus

EPEO needs your support in form of:

Foodstuff and beverages, textiles, bibles, educational materials, buses, legal aids, toiletries, medical/pharmaceuticals, finance etc.

To donate and support, Please contact:

Phone: 07038210169, 08059523575, 08065158170

Email: emmanuel@emmanuelprisonsevangelism.com

Website:www.emmanuelprisonsevangelism.com

So, I hope you now have a plan for this Easter and you’ll make it a point of duty to go out of your way to care for the needy.