6 signs that reveal you might be in a ‘pseudo-relationship’.

Pseudo (adj) means pretentious or insincere.

I heard about Pseudo-pregnancy for the first time on TV a while ago.

Pseudo- pregnancy means a false; not genuine pregnancy. Or resembling or imitating real pregnancy.

I was perplexed when I heard about the implications and the various extent women go to have children of their own. The doctors talked about how a woman claiming to be pregnant would come for medical check up and the doctor finds out after running a test that she is not pregnant. The doctor communicates this to her but she refuses to accept the fact still claiming she is pregnant. This woman continues to come for antenatal sessions with other expectant mothers.  The doctors further revealed that some women come months later with a new born baby that they probably adopted claiming it’s their baby and still wanting to proceed with post-natal treatments.  Meanwhile there has been no evidence of pregnancy for the past nine months.

Doctors claim that it has to do with their psychological disposition.

These women totally refuse to accept the fact that they are not able to have children of their own -for now- so they take action by staging one for themselves.  They don’t care whether it’s real or not. They stage their own reality. They create and embrace a fake incident.

I thought extensively about this and I thought this relates to how single women indulge themselves in relationships that are not real. This relationship is usually just a figment of their imagination. A ‘relationship’ that is not and might never be.  It is a Pseudo-relationship.

A ‘pseudo- relationship’ is a false relationship. It is a relationship that is not genuine; a relationship that is going nowhere; especially not the road to the altar.

It is usually common among ladies who believe time is far spent and they are very keen on getting married- which is very understandable.  They are tired of waiting. They believe they’ve done all they can. So they somehow find themselves in a pseudo-relationship. The painful thing about a pseudo- relationship is that a man is involved; a man whom she needs his consent and agreement. A woman might deceive herself and people around her that she is on the verge of walking down the aisle but the long delay or disappointment will finally reveal that there was nothing going anywhere.  The lady must have wasted time and energy, investing into a false account.  She just conned herself.

Below are six signs that reveal you could be in a pseudo relationship:

You are ‘living’ with a man who is never going to marry you

This is if you respect the institution of marriage and seriously want to get married. You pack your things from wherever you were living to pitch your tent in this man’s crib-who probably did not invite you sef-. I have heard girls say they do this ‘to secure their thing’.  Seriously, can YOU secure ‘it’? Can ‘it’ be tamed?  I mean naturally.  Well, there are sisters who claim to be securing this ‘thing’ of theirs and this thing hasn’t made any serious commitment with them.

You are the house help and not his help mate

You go to this man’s place regularly to help out with chores. It could be his private apartment or where he stays with his family members. There is no real relationship. And it’s not that you spend quality time together when you are there. It’s always that this uninterested guy is busy with something else or he leaves no sooner that you are there.   You claim you are still both getting to know each other better. So you go on being the hardworking lady, hoping he and his family members will see what a wife material you are.  All because you go to his crib to do all the work a machine wash and dish washer could do.

You wear an engagement ring that was not given to you by a man

You go ahead and buy a ring on Mr Man’s behalf.  There are even ladies who are not in a relationship with a man who do this. They say they do it by faith. Ha! Faith has suffered in the hands of stupidity. The worst thing is that this lady goes around wearing this ring. Isn’t that shooting one’s self in the leg? She might even show the ring to her friends and family members. Pseudo, pseudo, pseudo.

You dress like a married woman claiming its faith

You go buy yourself lots of Ankara material and sow tons of ‘mummy styled’ native wears. You start wearing them everywhere you go. You claim you are preparing to be a wife. I believe preparing to be a wife has more to do with the inside. It is an internal process.  What you wear will not make you one or make a man commit instantly. In fact, it might chase them away. What matters most is who you are.  Some even claim it is to show you are in the market. You don’t claim you are single by dressing like an ‘old idea’ of how a married woman looks.  Even a married woman dares not try this. Except her husband wants it and she doesn’t mind. It’s ok to dress your age but not like his Ma.

You are presuming you are more than friends with him even when he hasn’t made any proposal.

It’s been a while since you’ve been together- going back and forth. It appears to be a relationship. Is it a relationship? You ask yourself. It is a relationship you claim. But what kind? Where are we going?

Please don’t presume. You need to know and you have to find out-especially if you are too old for this.  It’s too bad for you to put yourself in that position. You can t be playing ‘who is in the garden’ at this time of your life. Don’t be afraid of the communiqué of this round table discussion. Please do interrogate. If it turns out he’s just been playing, then its good you now know so you are able to check out early enough. You would be saving your time, love and your heart. Forget those yeye midnight calls you both did that made you think you were compatible. You can do mid night call with your enemy and be in love the next day. That thing is cheap. Where is the sacrifice? In the vigil?  Hiss.

You are having sex... and he didn’t make any serious commitment with you.  And here you are thinking...   

“Since we are having sex, we are serious”. Having sex with a man for pleasure is one thing. Then having sex with a man regularly and assuming there is a relationship because there is sex is a pseu-tupid thing.

Get a male friend and let him explain how a man’s ‘smaller head’ works!

You’ll be seriously shocked it ‘stands’ very differently- far from his ‘big head’.

2mao.